What Happens When an Absent Parent Returns?

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN AN ABSENT PARENT RETURNS AND WANTS VISITATION?

 

COVID has sparked a desire for many parents to re-connect or establish a relationship with their children after being gone for a period of time.

New Mexico law presumes that it is in a child’s best interests to have a relationship with both parents.  NM law believes that children are best served when both parents participate in the process of raising a child. With that said, NM courts also favor stability and predictability in a child’s life.  These two competing preferences often collide when a parent comes back into the picture after an extended period.

In some situations, the returning parent may have been deeply bonded with the child before leaving the child’s life.  In other cases, the parent may never have established a secure, parent-child bond. Other important factors that can impact the court’s decision include:

• Mental health issues;
• Prior domestic violence or restraining orders;
• Substance abuse issues;
• Lengthy arrest history.

At times, a parent reentering a child’s life may envision a relationship that involves sudden and significant visitation.  Based on the court’s preference for stability and predictability, the court tends to favor incremental integration and increases – rather than dramatic shifts from absence to immediate involvement.

 

HOW DOES AN ABSENT PARENT RETURNING AFFECT MY LEGAL RIGHTS?

 

Generally a parent that has been absent from a child’s life has not been granted joint legal custody.  In this situation, usually the custodial parent has sole legal custody over the child.  Sole legal custody means that one parent has the right to make the following legal decisions:

• Medical
• Dental
• Religion
• Schooling
• Extra-curricular

At times, the court will grant the non-custodial parent visitation rights.  Depending on how long a parent has been absent from the child’s life, the court ordered visitation may no longer be appropriate.  Long absences or other major changes are often considered a material change in circumstance that is necessary to modify a timesharing agreement.

After a parent returns, NM courts prefer to evaluate the case based on the current circumstances – opposed to past court orders that have not been followed for an extended period.  In situations where a child is now fourteen years old, the NM court must consider the child’s desires regarding timesharing.

 

WHEN WILL NEW MEXICO COURTS GRANT PARENTS VISITATION AFTER LONG ABSENCES?

 

In situations where a parent has been absent from a child’s life for extended periods, NM courts will determine the child’s best interests regarding visitation.  The court generally uses the following methods to determine the child’s best interests:

• Evidentiary hearing where both parents tell their story;
• Appoint a Guardian Ad Litem to investigate the child’s best interests; or
• Court clinic evaluations.

Usually a GAL or Court Clinic will need to speak with a child’s therapist or counselor regarding the developmental impacts of resuming visitation.  For long periods of absences, the court will likely want the child to become involved with an individual therapist – if therapy is not already taking place.  The court will also want a reunification therapist to become involved, working with the individual therapist and determining the appropriate rate of reintegrating the child into the absent parent’s life.

NM courts avoid thrusting a child into an unknown situation and believe such an extreme measure could be determinantal to a child.  As such, NM court’s balance the potentially negative impact of rapid change, with the preference for children to be raised by both parents.

 

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN AN ABSENT PARENT RETURNS — NEW MEXICO COURTS TAKE REINTEGRAION SLOWLY

 

New Mexico courts favor stability and predictability.  This preference often means that the reintegration process can move slowly.  Parents that are re-appearing into a child’s life and want immediate and quick progress are often disappointed.  The re-unification process and therapeutic process often take time to complete.

New Mexico courts usually will wait until the therapist recommends for visitation to resume.  This lengthy process can discourage parents and sometimes leads to parents discontinuing the therapeutic process.

Because of the time involved, parents that are returning to a child’s life after a long absence should expect to take things slows.  However, this tendency towards slow reintegration should not deter parents from seeking reunification.

A famous saying goes that the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.

 

 

This proverb also applies to establishing or reconnecting with a child.  The best time to establish or reconnect was the past.  The second best time is now.  The longer that you wait to reconnect with your child, the longer that the therapeutic process will likely take.

 

HOW TO ESTABLISH VISIATION WITH A CHILD AFTER BEING ABSENT FROM A CHILD’S LIFE

 

A parent can establish visitation with a child in the following ways:

• If parentage has never been established a parent will file a Petition to Establish Paternity, Custody, and Timesharing.
• When parentage has been established, but visitation has not taken place, a parent should file a Motion to Modify Timesharing.

(505) SANCHEZ HELPS YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN AN ABSENT PARENT RETURNS TO A CHILD’S LIFE IN NEW MEXICO

 

Has your ex suddenly come back into the picture?  Are you are parent that wants to reconnect with your child?  Do you have more questions about what happens when an absent parent returns to a child’s life?  Matthew Legan Sanchez has over a decade of child custody trial experience and can explain what happens when an absent parent returns and wants visitation.  Call (505) SANCHEZ For more information.