ANGER CAN HURT YOUR DIVORCE CASE AND CHILD CUSTODY DISPUTES IN ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO
Let me see a show of hands from anyone that has said or done something that you later regret because your reasoning mind was short-circuited by anger. For those of you with your hands down, I’m willing to wager that you’re presently meditating under a Bodhi tree as I type these words.
At the risk of sounding like I’m trying to be your Life Coach — anger is a negative emotion that affects the way that we think, feel, and then act. Anger is an emotion that I routinely see at play in divorce case and child custody disputes in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Generally speaking, most happy and harmonious relationships do not end in divorce or separation. Negative emotions commonly surround relationships that have recently ended. These emotions in turn can reach a boiling point where one takes emotionally charged action in the heat of passion that can have long term, negative consequences.
KOAT recently featured a story about a gun fight that erupted outside of Highland High School over a child custody dispute. Watch the video below for a full explanation of the custody dispute that started in anger, eventually spilling over into violence.
Anger issues and child custody in New Mexico
Most child custody disputes don’t rise to a felonious level where baseball bats are brandished, and shots are wildly fired around innocent bystanders. Nevertheless, the anger involved with many disputes can have long-term, negative repercussions that follow one like the ghost of child custody and parental time-sharing future. Here are the common ways that I see anger rise to a level that can negatively affect one’s future time-sharing:
ANGRY ATTITUDE TOWARDS THE ASSIGNED JUDGE
I routinely speak with individuals that for any number of reasons once held the misguided belief that acting angry and aggressive towards the assigned judge is an effective strategy for success. Many times these individuals were pro se (not represented by an attorney), never spoke with an experienced attorney, and listened to the careless whispers of friends and family that offered well-intentioned, yet horribly misguided advice.
Based on this faulty advice, the individual presented their case before the assigned judge in an angry, aggressive, and hostile manner. Not surprisingly, the judge then viewed the individual as angry and unreasonable. The strategy proved to be ineffective, leading to a lackluster result – “lackluster” running the gamut from less than optimal, to downright disastrous.
I have personally witnessed the horrendous results that can result after pro se litigants’ approached their judge with anger and hostility – seeking legal counsel after the strategy backfires.
Initial impressions tend to follow one’s case downstream. Often many hearings must pass before the judge’s tainted impression can be guided in a positive direction.
This may come as a shocking revelation, but judges are human. Judges have good days and bad days. Judges have friends and enemies – likes and dislikes – and have differing opinions on all manner of political, social, religious, and economic ideologies. It is human nature to meet anger and aggression with anger and aggression. It is an effective strategy to present your case in a passionate manner based on your legal rights and the best interests of your children. It is a wholly ineffective strategy to present yourself towards the judge in an angry and aggressive manner.
At an absolute minimum – speak with an experienced attorney before you take the misguided approach of appearing pro se and approaching your assigned judge with anger and hostility. You don’t want to be the person reading this blog AFTER your Judge has entered an order negatively affecting your legal rights because they reacted harshly towards an angry litigant.
ANGRY ABOUT COURT CLINIC IN SECOND JUDICIAL DISTRICT COURT IN ALBUQUERQUE, NM
Court Clinic is a service provided by Second Judicial District Court, and a few other jurisdictions in Albuquerque, NM. Court Clinic assists parents that are unable to reach amicable agreements on child custody and parental time-sharing issues. In Albuquerque, Court Clinic has a number of experienced individuals that are trained to guide parents towards resolving child custody, time-sharing and other child related issues. Generally parents are first required to participate in mediation with a trained and experienced individual that assists the parents in working towards a resolution.
When mediation is unsuccessful, the parents often meet with a Court Clinic “Clinician” (i.e. trained counselors or psychologists) that conducts a custody evaluation (i.e. an On-Call Consultation or Advisory Consultation). Once compete, the Clinician makes recommendations to the judge regarding the appropriate custody, time-sharing, relocation, etc.
Judges generally have much respect for the assigned Clinician and use them as a hand of the court to gather evidence, make observations, and form the opinions that judges do not have the time to form. Most judges rely heavily on the Clinicians and routinely adopt the recommendations that are provided. Despite this fact, some parents have the misguided belief that it is an effective strategy to interact with the Clinicians in an angry, aggressive, or hostile manner.
This approach is quite possibly one of the most counter-productive approaches that a parent can take. Any friend that recommends such an angry and aggressive approach should be instantly de-friended from your Facebook account.
ANGER AND RESTRAINING ORDERS IN ALBUQUERQUE
Restraining Orders routinely come into play when a household member claims that they are the victim of domestic abuse and need protection from an immediate threat of future harm. Acts of abuse range from harassment, stalking, damage to property, physical harm, or emotional distress.
A Petition is filed and often there is a finding of sufficient probable cause to warrant a Temporary Order being entered with a hearing set within ten days. The Temporary Order can force a parent out of the marital residence and/or prevent contact between the parties. When children are involved, the assigned Special Commissioner has jurisdiction over the children for up to six months – when there is a finding that an act of abuse occurred — and can establish a child custody and parental time-sharing arrangement that the parents must follow. A finding of abuse can also carry long term ramifications such as negatively impacting one’s future time-sharing by establishing a less than ideal “status quo” based on the Special Commissioner’s recommended parental time-sharing arrangement. An act of abuse can also have long term repercussions against one’s security clearance and gun rights.
ANGER AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN NEW MEXICO
Anger that spills over into unwanted touching (no matter how minor) can result in the New Mexico Police Department reporting to the scene of the disturbance. The police will then conduct an investigation to determine which party was the “primary aggressor.” The primary aggressor usually is booked into the Metropolitan Detention Center and forced to post bond. A criminal case is generally filed through Metropolitan Court, which requires the Defendant to retain an attorney, travelling through the stressful, time-consuming and potentially expensive judicial process that includes the potential for jail time, probation, and a fine.
The domestic violence charge can also negatively impact one’s timesharing arrangement, or custody case in Second Judicial District Court. Domestic violence charges can be used to demonstrate erratic behavior, instability, or potential danger to the children.
ANGER AND CHILD CUSTODY PROBLEMS THAT GROW OVER TIME
Anger issues are progressive and tend to grow over time. Judges are concerned by a parent’s angry, combative, insulting, and aggressive behavior towards others. This behavior demonstrates instability that is not conducive to effective parenting in the child’s best interests.
Children often mirror parents’ behavior, and can correspondingly demonstrate inappropriate behavior in school and other social settings.
A pattern of aggressive and increasingly belligerent behavior can be used as the basis for one parent to modify child custody and parental time-sharing. At any point time-sharing can be modified based on a material and substantial change in circumstance wherein the current time-sharing is no longer in the child’s best interests. At a minimum, increasingly angry and belligerent behavior could result in the following: (1) Motion to Modify Time-sharing, (2) Petition for Order of Protection, (3) Domestic Violence. Anger is the common denominator to many legal actions surrounding the children.
(505) SANCHEZ IS HERE TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW ANGER AFFECTS YOUR DIVORCE CASE AND CHILD CUSTODY DISPUTES IN ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO
Do you still have questions about how anger affects your divorce case and child custody disputes in Albuquerque, New Mexico? Custody and divorce case in Albuquerque often requires the experienced hand and knowledge that comes with years of courtroom practice. Matthew Legan Sanchez has the experience needed to handle your unique case. Sanchez can be reached by calling (505) SANCHEZ.
How Anger Affects Your Divorce and Child Custody Disputes in Albuquerque
