Divorce requires marriage, and all marriages are different. Divorce is like a snowflake – each divorce is completely unique. Even though all marriages and divorces are different, there are common characteristics and issues that overlap from one divorce to the next.
Based on my experience, here are the top five reasons for divorce in Albuquerque, New Mexico:
1. DISHONESTY AND FINANCIAL PROBLEMS
At times one lie leads to the next, which gains momentum and grows over time like Pinocchio’s nose. Dishonesty comes in many shapes and sizes.
Possibly one spouse is lying about drinking or abusing drugs.
Possibly one spouse is lying about speaking with a friend or former lover.
A big lie that leads to divorce surrounds financial issues. One spouse may be lying about how they are investing their money – saying that they are investing a percentage of their income each month that is being gambled or spent.
One spouse may be lying about their gambling or spending habits.
Another spouse may be lying about money that is being drained form the accounts towards any number of bad habits.
At times lying leads to divorce, which leads to the discovery process that uncovers assets and debts. During the discovery process, one spouse “discovers” the extent of the financial lies that took place during the marriage.
The discovery process can be an eye-opening experience to spouse’s that were not involved with the couple’s finances. A marriage that is built on dishonesty around financial issues may experience the following problems:
- Less equity and assets than represented to the other spouse;
- Greater debt (credit card, tax, student loans) than believed;
- Lies about spending habits that lead to less assets and more debts; or
- Lies about income;
Dishonesty in any form can destroy a marriage. Dishonesty about finances can destroy a marriage while leaving a dark cloud that follows both sides after the divorce.
Dishonesty is a form of cheating – you are cheating the other person from the truth. Dishonesty is often intertwined with infidelity, causing divorce.
2. INFIDELITY
Few problems shatter a marriage like infidelity. To some, infidelity is a complete game-changer, something that cannot be overlooked and leads to divorce.
There seems to be a social perception that men are unfaithful more than women – ultimately leading to divorce. In my experience, divorce is caused as much by women being unfaithful as men – possibly with women tipping the scales towards a divorce.
Lies and infidelity go together an often lead to a divorce. Because New Mexico is a no-fault state, infidelity is not required to pursue a divorce. Also, infidelity does not change NM law regarding community property, spousal support, or child support.
Although infidelity often leads to a divorce, it does not change New Mexico’s divorce laws regarding the financial result of the divorce.
3. COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS
Communication problems by themselves can break a marriage. But communication problems are usually a gateway issue that connect and lead to other issues.
Communication problems can erode a feeling of love and connection.
Communication problems can lead to anger, frustration, or substance abuse.
Communication problems can lead to the breakdown in love, which leads to searching for someone to listen, which leads to infidelity.
Often communication problems can be found at the core of another issue that leads to divorce.
4. LACK OF COMPROMISE
It can be tough being married to someone with a “my way or the highway attitude.” Today it may be an inability to compromise on dinner or which Netflix movie to watch. Tomorrow it may be lack of compromise on a child’s school, extra-curricular, medical providers, or any other big-ticket issue.
Lack of compromise is a progressive issue that tends to grow over time. Lack of compromise can also lead to other control issues, such as:
- Control over friends or family;
- Control over finances; or
- Control over hobbies, activities and interests;
Control issues can follow the couple into and beyond the divorce. During a divorce, one spouse with control issues may unnecessarily prolong the divorce based on a sense of lost control. A spouse may call all the shots regarding timesharing, child custody or any issue involving the children.
Control is an issue that grows over time, erupting into divorce, and spilling over on post-divorce issues.
5. DISDAIN
Disdain seems to be the result of the other reasons for divorce. It is hard to be married to a person that you do not respect – or downright dislike.
A spouse may develop disdain for a spouse that:
- Cheats:
- Perpetually lies;
- Refuses to compromise;
- Doesn’t communicate or listen;
- Is reckless with community finances; or
- Is unreasonable in any number of different ways.
Adding up the previous four reasons for divorce usually results in disdain towards one’s spouse.
(505) SANCHEZ HELPS YOU UNDERSTAND NEW MEXICO’S DIVORCE LAWS AND THE TOP FIVE REASONS FOR DIVORCE IN ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO
Do you have questions about your divorce, New Mexico’s divorce laws, or the top five reasons for divorce in Albuquerque, New Mexico? Matthew Legan Sanchez was born and raised in Albuquerque and has been handling divorce cases for twelve years. Sanchez understands how New Mexico divorce laws will apply to your marriage and divorce. Sanchez has the real-world trial experience to answer your question about divorces in Albuquerque, Rio Rancho, Los Lunas, Belen, New Mexico. Call (505) SANCHEZ for more information about New Mexico your NM divorce and custody case.
The Top Five Reasons for Divorce in New Mexico
