People going through a divorce frequently wonder: can I date during my divorce in New Mexico? Over time, this question becomes increasingly important when spouses are separated and living different lives.
New Mexico’s divorce laws do not prevent either party from dating during a divorce. Instead, New Mexico is a no-fault state. This means that either party can request a divorce based on incompatibility. Additionally, the reason for the divorce usually does not impact how community property and debts are distributed.
In other words, yes, you can date during your divorce in New Mexico. However, this answer begs a new question: should you date during your divorce? Let’s explore the pros and cons of dating during a divorce.
BENEFITS OF DATING DURING DIVORCE
New Mexico law does not prevent a spouse from dating during a divorce. Nevertheless, the benefits of dating during divorce are limited.
Humans are inherently social creatures that need human connection. This basic human need is present in countless songs that center on the idea that all you need is love.
Without question, divorce is a stressful and difficult time. Accordingly, many people going through this dark period desire connection, comfort, and love. In doing so, either spouse may reach out for a new partner, to lessen divorce’s emotional blow.
Dating during divorce offers the benefit of easing the transition from marriage to divorce. On the positive end, dating during a divorce usually does not impact the division of community property and debt. Moreover, by itself, dating should not impact child legal custody, parental visitation, and child support.
Although dating usually doesn’t hurt one’s divorce – it very rarely helps one’s divorce. In other words, the potential costs of dating during divorce greatly outweigh the benefits. Let’s explore some of these potential costs.
COSTS OF DATING DURING DIVORCE
At times, dating during a divorce helps to ease the heartbreak of divorce. Unfortunately, dating during a divorce does not strengthen one’s legal marital separation case in New Mexico. Instead, dating might create potential hurdles or issues. In turn, these issues can negatively affect one’s case.
DISSIPATION OF MARITAL ASSETS — CAN I DATE DURING MY DIVORCE IN NEW MEXICO?
Dissipation of martial assets is legal jargon that means “wasting community money.” New Mexico is a community property state. This means that most assets or debts accumulated during the marriage are split 50-50 upon divorce.
Money that is earned during the marriage is considered a community asset. Accordingly, community money that is held in a bank account is evenly divided upon divorce.
Dating during your divorce may complicate the division of community property. For instance, a spouse that dates prior or during divorce opens the potential claim that community money was wasted/dissipated. For instance, a spouse could argue that community money was spent solely for the other spouse’s benefit, while dating.
Wasting community money involves one spouse spending money that does not benefit the community. Accordingly, dating during divorce creates the potential argument that the dating expenses did not benefit the community.
Nevertheless, NM divorce courts do not have jurisdiction (power) over money that is spent before the divorce is filed and properly served. Specifically, NM divorce courts usually do not address money that is spent during a marriage that does not create a tangible asset that can be divided upon divorce. The court usually takes a “hands-off” approach to money spent during the marriage, which does not result in a tangible asset, because the court’s jurisdiction (power) begins when the divorce is filed and served.
Moral of the story – dating during the divorce might create an argument that martial money was wasted. In turn, this potential argument could increase the time and expense necessary to complete the divorce.
DATING DURING DIVORCE CAN MAKE YOUR DIVORCE LONGER AND MORE EXPENSIVE
Humans need connection and love. Unfortunately, every yin has a yang. Consequently, the need for love can also trigger negative emotions such as jealousy or envy.
Divorce can be a lopsided process. For instance, one spouse may greatly desire a divorce. At the same time, the other spouse may greatly desire to remain married. A spouse that wants to remain married might become jealous or bitter about a spouse’s new partner. In turn, this bitterness may transfer into a desire to prolong the divorce process.
Does your spouse want to remain married? If so, dating during the divorce likely will not make the process easier. Instead, dating during the divorce could trigger a host of negative emotions. These emotions could then lead to a desire to inflect pain through a painful divorce process.
Usually, spouses that want to remain married do not want a quick, painless, and amicable divorce. Instead, these spouses may desire to prolong the divorce process to:
- Spread the misery;
- Maintain a sense of control;
- “Win” based on a feeling of loss;
- Prolong the process with the hope of reconciling; or
- Any reason based on bitterness, jealousy, or anger.
Complicated and prolonged divorces are more expensive. A bitter ex that discovers you are dating may desire to prolong or stretch out the divorce process. These actions may be caused by a desire to get revenge, maintain control, or make the process as dirty and emotional as possible.
DATING DURING DIVORCE MIGHT HURT YOUR CHILD FULL CUSTODY OR PARENTAL VISITATION CASE
Standing alone, dating during a divorce should not impact child full custody and parental visitation. With that said, dating during a divorce does not benefit one’s child legal custody and parental visitation case. Instead, dating creates potential arguments and issues. In turn, these arguments and issues can prolong one’s custody and visitation case. Moreover, the issues may influence your judge’s decision about your child’s best interests.
In some situation, dating during divorce can hurt your child legal custody or parental visitation case.
IMMEDIATELY LEAVING THE MARTIAL HOME — CAN I DATE DURING MY DIVORCE IN NEW MEXICO?
Immediately leaving the martial home, to live or date someone new, might hurt your child’s sole legal custody and parental visitation case. Usually, the parent that stays in the marital home becomes the children’s primary caregiver. Children are human and develop emotional connections with their home and neighborhoods. Consequently, leaving the marital home can cause children to side with the parent that remains in the home.
Most importantly, the parent that leaves the martial home usually establishes a weak parental visitation schedule. For instance, the parent leaving the home may establish a limited parental visitation schedule, such as every-other weekend. Over time, this parental visitation schedule becomes the “status quo.” As time passes, the status quo parental visitation schedule becomes cemented in place and may be hard to change.
DATING MULTIPLE PARTNERS, OR QUESTIONABLE CHARACTERS
Dating during divorce is problematic in several situations. First, dating multiple partners creates the argument that men/women are “parading in and out of the home.” In turn, the court may be concerned by the impact that this is having on the minor children.
Second, courts are greatly concerned when children are forced to call a new partner mom or dad. Additionally, some judges are concerned when parents immediately begin living with a new partner after a separation.
Third, judges are concerned by problematic partners. Specifically, judges are concerned with new partners that have:
- Recent criminal history;
- Substance abuse issues;
- Domestic violence issues; or
- Are a danger to the children in anyway.
In severe situations, judges may prevent your children from being exposed to your new partner during visitation. In short, dating during divorce creates claims that your judge may find concerning.
HIRING A NEW MEXICO DIVORCE ATTORNEY/LAWYER NEAR ME
For over a decade, Sanchez has handled uncontested divorces all across New Mexico, including: Albuquerque, Santa Fe, Taos, Rio Rancho, Los Lunas/Belen, and Gallup/Grants. Also, Sanchez has handled contested divorces across New Mexico, including: Albuquerque, Santa Fe, Socorro/Estancia, Rio Rancho, Los Lunas/Belen, and Gallup/Grants. Talk to a seasoned and successful divorce attorney that knows what they are talking about. Talk to (505) SANCHEZ.
Can I date during my divorce in New Mexico?
