Are you researching how to win a contested divorce in Albuquerque, NM? If so, you probably are facing a contested or contentious divorce. In other words, you and your spouse disagree on at least one legal aspect of your divorce.
Possibly you disagree on spousal support/alimony. Alternatively, you may disagree about custody, visitation, or child support. Finally, you may be butting heads on how to divide community property or debt.
Every divorce is unique. Accordingly, your contested divorce is different from a friend or family member’s contested divorce. Putting it differently, comparing two divorces can be like comparing apples and oranges.
Here are some aspects to consider when thinking about how to win a contested divorce in Albuquerque, NM.
WHAT’S YOUR DEFINITION OF WINNING?
How to win a contested divorce depends on your definition of winning. In your mind, is a “win” spending the lowest amount in attorney fees? Alternatively, do you consider it a win to get out of your divorce with the lowest possible stress and negative emotions?
On the other hand, is a win only achieved through a bitter and contentious divorce? Do you define a win as crushing your ex and causing the most emotional pain that you can inflict?
In the middle, will you win by getting a fair resolution that follows New Mexico law? In this situation, possibly your ex is making unreasonable offers that do not reflect NM law. Accordingly, you may believe that you have won by reaching a fair and equitable agreement.
This all begs the question – what’s your definition of winning?
ARE YOU THE UNREASONBLE PARTY?
At times, one side to a contested divorce is being unreasonable. Possibly this spouse is angry about the divorce. Alternatively, potentially this spouse feels that NM law is unfair or immoral. Finally, a spouse may simply desire to make the divorce process as painful and difficult as possible.
Are you the unreasonable party? Are you rejecting a reasonable settlement offer that mirrors NM law? If so, are you rejecting this offer out of spite or anger?
Sometimes spouses have different ideas about how to win a contested divorce. On one side, a spouse may desire to end the marriage as quickly, cost effectively, and painlessly as possible.
On the other end, an angry spouse may desire to stretch out the process and inflict maximum pain and suffering.
Somewhere in the middle, one or both spouses may have contrasting beliefs on how the legal issues should be resolved. In this situation, both spouses may have misunderstandings on how New Mexico divorce law applies to their unique marriage.
To win a divorce you first need to define what winning means to you. Next, it’s necessary to unpack your goals compared to New Mexico law. Do your goals align with NM law? If not, you may be the unreasonable party that is creating the contested divorce.
WIN A CONTESTED DIVORCE BY MEETING IN THE MIDDLE
Our world is becoming increasingly polarized. News, social media, and politics seem to be creating an “us” vs. “them” mentality.
Democrats vs. Republicans.
CNN vs. Fox News.
Christians vs. Muslims.
Baby Boomers vs. Millennials.
But life isn’t always good vs. evil. In the middle, both sides have their strengths and weaknesses. Divorce can also be polarized.
At times, each side draws a line in the sand. In doing so, both sides can refuse to budge from their initial position or offer. However, in some cases both spouses begin with positions that miss the target.
In other words, sometimes both spouses are a bit off with their goals, beliefs, and resulting offers. In this situation, both spouses may win a contested divorce by meeting in the middle.
Every couple must complete divorce settlement facilitation before a trial is scheduled. Divorce settlement facilitation is required because most divorces can and should be resolved outside of court.
Your judge wants your divorce to be resolved outside of court. You read that correctly. Your judge does not want to decide your divorce issues. Moreover, your judge believes that your divorce should and can be resolved outside of court.
Don’t expect smiles and hugs from a judge that is forced to decide your divorce issues.
In almost every pre-trial hearing, judges openly tell both sides that they are best served through settlement rather than trial.
In a judge’s mind, both sides win a contested divorce by creating their own reality and resolving issues outside of court.
HOW TO IMPROVE AND WIN YOUR DIVORCE AND CUSTODY CASE
In some situations, we win and improve by modeling ourselves after others. In other circumstances, we win in life by observing and avoiding other people’s mistakes. At times, you win in divorce by avoiding bad divorce decisions.
On the positive side, you also win in divorce by taking steps to improve your custody and divorce case.
WIN A CONTESTED DIVORCE BY UNDERSTANDING NEW MEXICO LAW
You always win a contested divorce by understanding NM divorce law. You win a contested divorce by understanding how NM law applies to your unique facts and circumstances.
Divorce can be an emotional journey. This journey often begins with intense, negative emotions.
The strong emotions may trigger an initial divorce offer before either spouse understands NM divorce law. Moving forward, either spouse may “double-down” on these initial settlement offers. This doubling-down process may happen even though the initial offer doesn’t reflect NM law.
In turn, both side’s initial offer becomes a belief about fairness. Over time, this belief becomes a conviction about “winning.”
Both sides are benefitted by understanding NM divorce law. Based on the issues and law, both sides may need to adjust their initial offers and beliefs. In turn, both sides may win a contested divorce through understanding and compromise.
Conversely, both sides may lose their contested divorce through unnecessary litigation. Both spouses may lose financially. Moreover, both sides may lose emotionally, with a diminished quality of life.
There are no guarantees in life. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. At the end of the road, you may regret wasting precious time with an unnecessarily bitter and contentious divorce.
Do you want to win a contested divorce in Albuquerque, NM? If so, think about the last day of your life. On your death bed, will you regret using precious time on earth to fight about your divorce?
