Every separation and divorce involving children presents a puzzle with a variety of unique pieces. When putting the pieces together, Albuquerque, New Mexico courts are influenced by several factors when determining a child’s best interests.
Here are some of the child custody issues that you should consider when thinking about ways to help your child custody case in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
HOW DO I HELP MY CHILD CUSTODY CASE IN ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO?
Ultimately you need to convince the court that granting you primary custody is in your child’s best interests. To do so, you will need to demonstrate a history of involvement with your child, bonding, and ability to provide your child with the best home.
With that goal as your focus, here are some of the most important ways to help your child custody case in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
BECOME HIGHLY INVOLVED WITH YOUR CHILD
If you are reading these words, then you are likely either experiencing, or facing the potential for a child custody case. In either situation, now is the time to become as involved with your child as possible.
The time that you spend with your child, from the date of separation, is crucial. This time becomes your “status quo.” Your assigned judge will be reluctant to change this status quo because children thrive with consistency and predictability.
Starting this moment, do everything in your power to establish as much time as possible with your child.
BE CHILD-CENTERED AND NOT EX-CENTERED IN NEW MEXICO
New Mexico judges are child-centered. New Mexico judges do not care why you and your ex are breaking up – unless it impacts your child’s best interests.
New Mexico judges often rule on the side of caution to protect a child. New Mexico judges make all their determinations on the child’s best interests.
Note that the court does not base decisions on the parent’s best interests.
Angry parents with resentment towards their ex’s generally do poorly in court. Parents that focus on their ex and not the child tend to raise red flags that hurt their case. Being child-centered means:
- Speaking about your connection, bonding and timesharing with the child;
- Speaking about your involvement & relationship with your child;
- Speaking about any issues with your ex from the child’s perspective.
Being centered on your ex is going to hurt your child custody case in New mexico. You do not want to appear more concerned about your ex than your child. Do yourself a favor and become child-centered.
TAKE THE KIDS WHENEVER POSSIBLE – WAYS TO HELP YOUR CHILD CUSTODY CASE IN ALBUQUERQUE,NM
Do you want to help your child custody case? Be ‘Johnny on the Spot.’ Johnny on the Spot is a person that is always available, ready, and willing to perform a duty or task without excuse or delay. Be that person.
Be the parent that is focused on caring for your children – not the parent that is constantly on the lookout for events, vacations, and a new partner. Date your kids for a while, instead of spending all your time looking for a new partner, or spending time with a new partner.
Is your ex going out of town for an event or vacation? Great. Be Johnny on the Spot and take the kids. Your goal is to have your kids as much as possible, document the time, and establish a status quo that helps your child custody case in Albuquerque,NM.
DO NOT SELF-MEDICATE WITH DRUGS OR ALCOHOL
Divorces and breakups can be emotionally devastating. At times, parents that are going through a divorce or separation will numb the pain with drugs or alcohol.
You should be sober and stable during a divorce and separation that relate to child custody cases and divorce issues. Numbing the pain of separation with drugs or alcohol is a surefire way to destroy your child custody case.
Speak to a counselor. Attend Alcoholics Anonymous. Try a new hobby or activity. Do everything in your power to avoid drug or alcohol abuse during a divorce or separation. Drug or alcohol abuse will sink your child custody case.
DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, AND DOCUMENT
Are you spending as much time with your child as possible? Are you child-centered? Are you being ‘Johnny on the Spot’ and filling in whenever needed? Good. Document it.
Create a calendar. Document the time and activities that you spend with the children. Consider documenting:
- Doctor & dentist appointments;
- Extra-curricular activities;
- Normal timesharing dates and times;
- Ex’s missed visits; and
- Extra timesharing beyond status-quo.
It is difficult to remember extra time that you spent with your child three months ago. Calendars can be used to refresh your memory in court.
No court order regarding parents timesharing? Document what you have been doing.
CO-PARENT WITH YOUR EX AND PICK YOUR BATTLES TO WIN THE WAR IN NEW MEXICO
An ex is an “ex” for a reason. Healthy, happy, and loving relationships usually do not end in separation or divorce. Your breakup was probably caused by a specific issue or problem. Likely some degree of resentment lingers about the relationship.
This is easier said than done — do everything in your power to co-parent and communicate with your ex in New Mexico.
Co-parenting and communication problems lead to a laundry list of issues, including:
- Increased hostility, stress, and negativity;
- Children absorb negative emotions – negatively impacting your child;
- Long-term potential repercussions to you and your child.
The negative effects also collide with your custody case. The negative impact of co-parenting problems include:
- Drawn out litigation;
- Increased cost;
- Potential need for GAL, expert, or evaluators; and
- Subjecting your child to the negative impact of litigation.
You may be winning the battle by sending that negative email or statement – but are you winning the war? Your negative statement may boomerang back to you and result in:
- Restraining Order/Order of Protection;
- Your judge viewing you as the problem and unreasonable party;
- Your judge believing that co-parenting is not possible, appointing the other parent as primary.
New Mexico courts rarely grant 50-50 timesharing to parents with co-parenting and communication problems. In the rare chance that 50-50 is granted, you may still face the following problems:
- Constant anger;
- Reduced quality of life;
- Always on edge with your ex;
- Stuck in the past vs. moving forward to a better future;
- Negative, long-term effects that your children suffer from the negativity.
This is easier said than done, but co-parent with your ex. Not all custody cases are mud-slinging and vicious battles. One of the biggest lessons that I have learned with twelve years of litigation is this — your judge wants you to resolve your issues outside of court.
Your judge wants you to co-parent and reach an agreement regarding custody and timesharing.
You always want to come across as the reasonable person and party. Demonstrate your reasonableness by co-parenting and effectively communicating with your ex.
(505) SANCHEZ HELPS YOU UNDERSTAND WAYS TO HELP YOUR CHILD CUSTODY CASE IN ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO
Matthew Sanchez has over a decade of child custody trial experience to help you understand, “Can a child pick which parent they want to live with?”. Sanchez has the real world, tested experience to guide your child custody case in Bernalillo, Sandoval, and Valencia counties. For more information on divorce and family law in Albuquerque, New Mexico call (505) SANCHEZ.
How to win your child custody case in Albuquerque, New Mexico
