A lawyer writing about tips for co-parenting after divorce may seem like a dentist recommending candy and sweets. Readers may be thinking: “This is war – not balloons and butterflies. I want to crush my ex. I want to win – not hold hands!”
Avoiding court can be a win. At times, the financial and emotional costs of litigation outweigh the benefits. For instance, family court isn’t always a zero-sum game where one side must lose for the other side to win. At times, both sides achieve a better outcome by meeting in the middle.
Custody, visitation, and child support come in many different shapes and sizes. Here are some general tips for co-parenting after divorce in New Mexico.
KEEP YOUR COMMUNICATIONS SHORT AND SWEET
After a divorce, communications should be short and sweet. Long and emotional text messages may be viewed as abusive. Insulting communications can result in a Restraining Order of Protection being filed.
Ditch the emotion and stick to the point. For example, try following the three strikes and you are out rule. This means to keep your messages to three sentences. In doing so, only cover essential information. Avoid insults, threats, or negativity. Stick to the facts.
CONSIDER COUNSELING OR THERAPY
Divorce can be a miserable time in one’s life. Consider seeking counseling or therapy during this difficult time. A licensed professional can help a person deal with complex and deep-seated emotions. The impact of divorce hits deep. A counselor or therapist can help a person deal with pain that can leave deep-rooted and emotional bruises. Left unaddressed, these deep-seated emotions may fester, boiling into a rage that erupts.
An experienced therapist can also help with the process of processing anger and resentment about one’s divorce. At times, working through these powerful emotions can prevent future conflict. Additionally, professional assistance can help one to avoid bad-mouthing the other parent to a child. Proactively dealing with emotional scars can help prevent several actions that can haunt one’s custody case.
HIRE AN EXPERIENCED CUSTODY ATTORNEY
An experienced custody attorney understands common problems that parents face after the divorce is finished. A seasoned family law attorney can help you prepare a Parenting Plan that sets you up for success. In doing so, the Parenting Plan can avoid some of the common mistakes that haunt future visitation and co-parenting.
An experienced NM lawyer can prepare your custody and support documents in a way that minimizes interaction between the two sides. As a result, unnecessary interaction and conflict can be cut-off before it grows into something toxic.
ESTABLISH CLEAR BOUNDARIES
Like any healthy relationship, it is important to establish clear boundaries with your ex-spouse about your co-parenting relationship. For example, are you uncomfortable interacting with your ex-spouse during exchanges? If so, immediately establish this discomfort. In doing so, set boundaries regarding exchanges.
Sometimes too much damage has been done during a relationship. In these relationships, one side may have lasting trauma from the relationship. If so, set boundaries about communication. In doing so, consider requesting for all communication to take place through a program that can monitored by the court.
In other situations, possibly you are uncomfortable with your child interacting with your ex’s new boyfriend/girlfriend. If so, immediately express this discomfort. By immediately setting a boundary, the weed of conflict may be eliminated before it grows into conflict and avoidable litigation.
ACT LIKE AN ADULT AND YOUR CHILD’S PARENT
At times, parents are tempted to talk to children about adult situations or emotions. For instance, possibly a parent will talk to a child about the reasons for the divorce or separation. In other cases, a parent may talk to a child like a friend, seeking the child’s advice or guidance on emotional issues. It is important for parents to avoid these behaviors.
New Mexico courts frown on both bad-mouthing and parentification. Because of this stance, either of these actions can damage one’s case.
Bad-mouthing the other parent can cause legal issues that haunts your custody and visitation. For several reasons, avoid “talking trash” about the other parent. In doing so, also avoid talking to your child about adult situations and emotions. For instance, avoid situations where the roles are flipped and the child’s input and guidance are sought for emotional or financial issues.
CALL (505) SANCHEZ
It is essential to have an experienced child custody on your side. An experienced New Mexico attorney can help you avoid mistakes that haunt your case. Matthew Sanchez has handled child custody cases in courthouses throughout New Mexico, including: Rio Rancho, Los Lunas, Belen, Gallup, Santa Fe, Estancia/Socorro. Speak with an NM custody attorney today. Speak with (505) SANCHEZ.
Tips for Co-Parenting After a Divorce in New Mexico
