Divorce and child custody cases can spark the fires of anger and resentment. Roaring anger can cause a parent to lose control over their emotions and actions — burning the custody case to the ground.
Here are ten ways to ruin your child custody case in New Mexico.
RELOCATE WITH YOUR CHILD WITHOUT PERMISSION FROM THE COURT OR EX
Always get the other parent’s approval before moving your child away from your city, county, or state. Best case scenario, removing your child from New Mexico will result in your assigned judge ordering you to return the child to New Mexico. Worst case scenario, your actions can result in the other parent being awarded sole legal custody.
Avoid traveling with your child without notifying the other parent. It’s always the best practice to let your ex know when you plan on removing your child from New Mexico. Even though your ex may not have the ability to prevent the travel – failing to notify your ex about travel can destroy your communication and co-parenting.
GET AGGRESSIVE/VIOLENT WITH YOUR EX OR OTHERS
Getting aggressive with your ex is like trying to hurt someone else by punching a wall. Getting violent or aggressive could result in a restraining order of protection being filed. Violence can result in:
- Your ex getting sole legal custody;
- You receiving limited visits, or supervised visits;
- You being charged with domestic violence or child abuse.
Never get violent during a divorce or separation. Verbal or physical violence is a spark that will quickly burn your child custody case to the ground.
REFUSE TO PAY COURT ORDERED CHILD SUPPORT
Custody and timesharing are always based on your child’s best interests. Your judge decides your child’s best interests. Failing to follow court orders shows that you do not care about your judge’s order. This failure can cause your judge to believe that you are not acting in your child’s best interests.
Failing to follow court orders can cause your judge to see your side through gloomy and suspicion eyes.
Following court orders isn’t limited only to child support orders. Following orders also includes exchanging your children up on time. Repeatedly showing up late for exchanges demonstrates instability. You always want to appear as the stable, consistent, and reliable parent.
OFFEND AND HARASS YOUR EX THROUGH TEXT MESSAGE, EMAIL, OR SOCIAL MEDIA
Always avoid sending offensive or harassing messages to your ex. Offensive and harassing text/emails can cause:
- Your judge to view you as the unreasonable parent;
- An Order of Protection to be entered;
- Long term damage to your custody and timesharing.
Every text/email that you send can be used against you. Before sending an offensive message, imagine that your grandma or pastor is reading the message. Would your sweet grandma approve of your language and tone?
Make sure that each message that you send to your ex passes the grandma test.
REMOVE YOUR CHILD FROM ACTIVITIES, SCHOOL, MEDICAL/COUNSELING
New Mexico courts believe that children flourish with consistency and predictability. One of the most common phrases used in child custody cases is “status quo.” Status quo basically means what was happening before the court became involved. Status quo applies to
- Timesharing;
- Medical care;
- School;
- Religion; or
- Extracurricular activities.
NM judges do not approve when a child’s status quo providers or activities are suddenly changed. This means that you should:
- Keep your child’s routine as normal and predictable as possible:
- Maintain all your child’s sports, extra-curricular, and school activities; and
- Avoid scheduling activities during the other parent’s time without approval.
Status quo is extremely important to your assigned judge. This means that following the status quo should be extremely important to you.
BAD MOUTH THE OTHER PARENT — HOW TO DESTROY YOUR CUSTODY CASE IN NEW MEXICO
Big brother is watching your case. Everything that you say can be used against you in court. You should avoid:
- Criticizing your ex to family or friends; or
- Posting negative statements online or through social media.
You should also avoid talking to your child about:
- Your divorce or custody case;
- Reasons for your breakup/divorce;
- The other parent’s faults or shortcomings.
Are you looking to destroy your custody case? You are lighting the fuse to destruction by bad mouthing your ex.
USE THE COURT SYSTEM TO FIGHT WITH YOUR EX
Possibly your ex was 100% to blame for your breakup. Possibly your ex was a horrible partner that acted in a cold and heartless way that left you emotionally scared.
Trying to strike back at your ex through the court system will only hurt you.
Now is the time to focus on your child. Focus on developing a stronger bond with your child and being child-center.
Focus on your child and put your ex in the rear-view. You are destroying your custody case by focusing on the reasons for your breakup and trying to strike back at your ex.
DESTROY YOUR EX’S PROPERTY — TEN WAYS TO DESTROY YOUR CHILD CUSTODY CASE IN NEW MEXICO
Damaging your ex’s property is like violence or harassment. Damaging property can lead to:
- Criminal charges for destruction of property;
- An Order of Protection being entered;
- Significantly hurting your custody and timesharing case.
Damaging property can ruin your child custody case.
PREVENT CONTACT BETWEEN YOUR EX AND CHILDREN
Allow your children to talk with the other parent during your visitation periods. You do not want your assigned judge to believe that you are the source of any communication issues – or that you are creating co-parenting problems.
Preventing communication between your ex and child can raise concerns regarding parental alienation. A finding of alienation can result in the other parent being awarded sole legal custody. Refusing to follow court orders regarding communication can lead to the court holding you in contempt, entering sanctions, awarding attorney fees, and potentially modifying custody or timesharing.
ACT LIKE A CHILD – NOT LIKE A REASONBLE AND STABLE ADULT
Your judge ultimately decides the system of custody and timesharing that is in your child’s best interests. Acting like a child in court will destroy your child custody case. You should avoid:
- Groaning or rolling your eyes when either your ex or their attorney speaks;
- Making exaggerated hand gestures or movements;
- Appearing overly angry, annoyed, defensive, or frustrated;
- Arguing with your GAL, Court Clinician, or Judge; or
- Showing up late — or not showing up to court.
Avoid text message battles with your ex. Avoid commenting on your ex’s social media pages. Avoid trash-talking your ex to family or friends.
You will hit your custody goals by:
- Acting like a reasonable and stable adult;
- Not appearing as the source of communication issues; and
- Demonstrating that you are capable of effectively co-parenting.
You are not winning popularity points with your judge when you are acting angry, unstable, or unreasonable.
(505) SANCHEZ EXPLAINS TEN WAYS TO DESTROY YOUR CHILD CUSTODY CASE IN NEW MEXICO
For over a decade, Matthew Legan Sanchez has handled child custody cases all across New Mexico. Call (505) SANCHEZ for more information about ways to destroy your child custody case in New Mexico.
Ten Ways to Destroy Your Child Custody Case in New Mexico
