There are several paths that lead towards overnight parental visit with your child. The smooth path involves both parents amicably agreeing on a child visitation schedule. At times, however, parents agreeing on a child visitation schedule is easier said than done.
For several reasons, you and your ex may disagree on the appropriate parental visitation schedule. When disagreement exists, your case follows another path leading towards a parental visitation order. This alternate path involves your family court judge intervening and deciding what parental visitation schedule best serves your child. In doing so, your judge’s decision regarding child full legal custody and parental visitation focuses on the child’s developmental needs – not the mother or father’s “rights.”
Your judge’s ultimate decision includes overnight parental visit. Your judge considers and balances six factors, when deciding if overnight parental visitation is appropriate for your child. To strengthen your argument for overnight parental visit, it is important to identify and address any issues that fall under these six factors:
- Relationship & Bonding
- Ease of Adjustment
- Safety
- Trust
- Environment
- Dependability
RELATIONSHIP & BONDING
Relationship and bonding are key factors that your judge considers when determining if overnight parental visit is appropriate. Specifically, your judge wants to see that you and your child have established attachment and bonding. In this respect, “attachment” is described as a strong bond that develops between a child and caregiver – ideally the child’s parent.
Forming an attachment is a two-way street that goes both ways. In other words, both parent and child are involved in process. Ultimately, a child’s ability to discern a parent from a non-parent grows from this interactive process.
In other words, a sufficient bond needs to be developed such that your child distinguishes you from a non-caregiver. As an example, has sufficient attachment developed such that your child would recognize you as a caregiver, if suddenly awakened in the night?
Research demonstrates that children benefit from multiple attachments. Accordingly, parental visitation schedules usually seek to maximize a child’s attachment and boding with both parents.
Is your child an infant? If so, it is essential to develop an infant-parent attachment. This attachment process is crucial for your child’s ultimate sense of security. In turn, this budding sense of security leads to the development of self-confidence and trust in others.
For any older children, your judge wants to see that a bonding relationship has already been established.
EASE OF ADJUSTMENT — OVERNIGHT VISITS AND CHILD CUSTODY
Moving forward, your judge is concerned by your child’s ease of adjustment. In other words, your judge wants to see that your child is adjusting well to living in two homes. In doing so, your judge will determine if your child has adjusted well to prior changes in the parental visit schedule. For example, did your child adjust well when your parental visitation schedule was previously changed? Alternatively, did your child’s developmental progress regress or slowdown due to a changed schedule?
Additionally, your judge inspects your child’s adjustment to travelling between homes. Specifically, your judge will be concerned if the distance and travel between homes is creating any distress or regression.
SAFETY
The third factor – safety – is huge. Judges are child-centered and have an overriding duty to protect children. Accordingly, your judge will be concerned by any safety issues that impact overnight parental visit.
Safety concerns include:
- Inadequate shelter;
- Domestic violence;
- Other forms of abuse or violence with relationships;
- Mental health issues impacting your ability to care for the child;
- Substance abuse issues impacting your ability to meet major responsibilities;
- CYFD involvement verifying claims of abuse or neglect;
- Restraining Order of Protection;
- Any other issue that impacts your fitness to care for the child.
Do any of these concerns apply to you or your home?
Take a moment and really consider this question. Seriously. Do some soul-searching and be honest with yourself.
HONESTLY EVALUATE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES
Complete honesty is essential when evaluating your environment and considering if any safety issues exist. You see, denial is a bad strategy in family court. Putting it bluntly, judges are not impressed by superficial denials. In other words, your superficial denial will be met with a probing investigation. This investigation may include:
- Drug and/or alcohol testing;
- CYFD testimony;
- Court Clinic involvement;
- GAL investigation and recommendations; or
- 11-706 child custody evaluation and recommendations.
Unfortunately, the best attorney in the world can’t change a drug test from positive to negative. Moreover, Johnnie Cochran reincarnated couldn’t magically erase an extensive history of domestic violence.
Ultimately, your judge wants you and your ex to be heavily involved with your child. Nevertheless, your judge still has an overriding duty to protect your child from safety concerns.
Therefore, instead of denying that an issue exists be honest with yourself about the issue. In doing so, address the underlying issue. For instance, address substance abuse issues through treatment. Additionally, address mental health issues through counseling and following your medication schedule.
It has been said that admitting you have a problem is always the first step towards recovery. This advice also applies towards safety concerns.
Moral of the story – be honest with yourself about any safety concerns. When safety concerns exist, be honest with yourself about the problem, and take steps to proactively correct the issue.
TRUST — OVERNIGHT PARENTAL VISIT AND CHILD FULL LEGAL CUSTODY
Trust is the fourth consideration surrounding overnight parental visit and child custody. In this regard, your judge wants to see that you have been meaningfully involved with parenting responsibilities. For instance, in the past, were you involved with the overnight care of your child? Additionally, have you been involved with meeting your child’s daily needs and caregiver responsibilities?
If not, consider taking a parenting course. Taking such a course demonstrates that you are committed to improving your parenting abilities.
Ultimately, does your child trust that you can meet their needs?
ENVIRONMENT
Your environment is a factor that impacts overnight parental visitation and child legal custody. Your judge wants to know the following:
- You have the physical setup for overnight visits;
- Your environment is free of safety hazards;
- Your home is free from domestic violence issues; and
- There are no unsafe people in your home.
Also, privacy often becomes an issue as your child ages and matures. For instance, the court may have concerns with a child not having adequate privacy, based on the home’s size, as the child ages and matures.
Additionally, as your child grows older, sleeping in the same bed or room often becomes an issue.
DEPENDABILITY – OVERNIGHT PARENTAL VISIT AND CHILD CUSTODY
The final factor impacting overnight parental visitation surrounds your dependability. Regarding dependability, your judge wants to know:
- You have demonstrated an ability to meet your parental responsibilities;
- You have shown an ability to get your child to appointments, school, activities, etc.; and
- Your schedule can adapt to your child’s routine.
APPLYING THE 6 FACTORS THAT IMPACT OVERNIGHT VISITS AND CHILD CUSTODY
As we have seen, New Mexico courts consider 6 factors when considering overnight visits. In doing so, judges consider and balance each factor when reaching an ultimate decision. Major issues with any of these factors are concerning. In turn, this concern could prevent overnight visits. Accordingly, it is essential to understand and improve all 6 areas in your case. By doing so, you create the best argument and chance for overnight visits.
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