Do you remember your childhood teammate that never passed the ball? Think about it for a second and I’m sure you’ll remember the person that I’m writing about. Yep, that’s the one. I’m talking about that one teammate that took a shot every single time that the ball touched their fingers. You probably remember the time that the ball hog wildly heaved that “prayer” mid-court shot while you were unguarded and waiving your arms below the basket.
Nobody likes a ball hog.
Do you have an ex that formerly controlled every aspect of your relationship, and now tries to control every aspect of the custody and time-sharing arrangement with your child?
Some parents are under the misguided belief that effective co-parenting operates like a dictatorship. I routinely speak with individuals whose former partner calls all of the shots involving the custody and time-sharing of their child. These situations generally begin as amicable time-sharing arrangements, where both parents agree on the appropriate system of visitation and communication based on a desire to keep the court out of their lives. As time passes the “agreement” slowly morphs from a mutually advantageous agreement, into a singularly self-serving dictatorship where one parent calls all of the shots like a ball hog.
The breakdown in the former agreement can be caused by any number of different reasons, including:
• Anger about the breakup;
• Anger/jealously caused by the co-parent finding a new partner;
• Desire to continue controlling the former partner’s actions, based on a perceived loss of control;
• Withholding the child in order to prevent/lower child support;
• An event or circumstance used as an excuse to control the parent-child relationship;
• Disagreement on various issues; and
• (Insert the unique reason that your ex calls all of the shots regarding the time-sharing of your child).
The common thread that weaves these cases together is that for some underlying reason one parent calls all of the shots regarding the custody, time-sharing, and communication over the parents’ child.
In many instances, one parent dictates when, where, and for how long time-sharing or communication takes place.
In other instances, one parent refuses to allow the absent parent to visit or communicate with the child unless specific demands and/or requirements are met. In some cases one parent outright refuses to allow communication or visitation to take place.
At times, a parent’s desire to amicably agree on custody and time-sharing issues without court interference becomes unrealistic. In cases where one parent calls all of the shots – potentially preventing communication and visitation – the police will not get involved because the matter is a “domestic dispute.” Generally speaking, police will only become involved with domestic disputes regarding custody and time-sharing when there is a valid and enforceable court order.
In these situations one parent can be left empty-handed, with the other parent greedily holding the child and dictating when, where, and for how long the absent parent can visit or communicate with the child. In order to regain control over the situation, the absent parent needs court intervention and a clearly delineated order regarding custody, time-sharing, child support, and communication. This goal is ultimately achieved by filing the requisite Petition to Establish Paternity, Custody and Time-sharing.
Assuming that the court has jurisdiction over the subject matter and parties, at the initial hearing paternity will be established and a temporary order regarding custody, time-sharing, and child support will be issued. This order provides both parents with an enforceable order that clearly outlines each parent’s respective rights and responsibilities. Most importantly, this order prevents one parent from acting like an over-grown ball hog, calling all of the shots.
Do you still have questions about your ex calling all of the child custody shots in Albuquerque, New Mexico? Child custody in Albuquerque often requires the experienced hand and knowledge that comes with years of courtroom practice. Matthew Legan Sanchez has the experience needed to handle your unique case. Sanchez can be reached by calling (505) SANCHEZ.
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