It is crucial to understand how to work with your child’s GAL to achieve your custody and visitation goals.
If you are reading these words, it is likely that your child custody case has escalated to the point that a GAL has been appointed. Before we dig into how to work with your child’s GAL, let’s first uncover the GAL’s role in your child custody (visitation) case.
WHAT IS A GUARDIAN AD LITEM (GAL) IN NEW MEXICO?
A Guardian Ad Litem – or GAL – is a person that the court appoints to act as “the court’s arm” or “friend of the court.” The GAL acts as the court’s eyes and ears. In this role, the GAL investigates all the important facts and then makes recommendations regarding a child’s best interests. In doing so, the GAL acts as the child’s attorney and represents the child’s interests.
GAL’s are routinely appointed in high conflict, or more complex cases that may involve allegations of abuse/neglect, or concerns about a parent’s ability to care for the child. A GAL’s role with custody and visitation includes the following:
- Investigating all aspects of the case that impacts the child;
- Speaking with the child, parents, and important family members;
- Speaking with CYFD, counselors, teachers, or any other important, outside source; and
- Monitoring the child’s behavior and performance in school.
The GAL conducts a thorough investigation and then makes recommendations about the child’s best interests. The GAL considers all aspects of the child’s living situation, including:
- Which home is best suited to provide for the child’s wellbeing?
- Are there concerns regarding abuse or neglect in either home?
- Does one parent have substance abuse or mental health issues?
- Are there any issues that impact a parent’s ability to care for the child?
Ultimately the GAL investigates and considers all important factors. Once the investigation is complete, the GAL develops a report and recommendations regarding the child’s best interests. The report and recommendations heavily influence the court’s decisions regarding custody or visitation issues.
Now that we have a better understanding about a GAL’s role in custody and divorce matters, let’s uncover how to work with your child’s GAL.
HOW TO WORK WITH YOUR CHILD’S GAL IN ALBQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO
You love your child, and the GAL acts as your child’s advocate and voice. Think of the GAL as your friend – not your enemy. Never enter the relationship with your GAL on a hostile or aggressive tone. Do the following to have a better relationship with your GAL.
PAY YOUR GAL’S BILL
The quickest way to sour your relationship with your GAL is to not pay the GAL’s bill or retainer. A GAL is routinely appointed in kinship guardianship cases to make recommendations regarding the child’s best interests. Commonly, one parent will appear at the hearing – object to the guardianship – and then fail to pay their portion of the GAL’s retainer.
Usually the parent’s failure to pay their portion of the GAL’s fee prevents the GAL from moving forward. When the GAL isn’t paid and the process never unfolds, the court usually awards guardianship by default.
In other words, not paying the GAL could lead to the other side winning by default.
No matter what type of issue is being investigated, failing to pay the GAL will hurt your case in a big way. Think about it this way – how do you feel about someone that owes you money and refuses to pay? Do you feel positively or negatively about that person?
GAL’s are human. The GAL will view you through suspicious lenses when you fail to pay your bill.
BE THE REASONABLE PARENT — HOW TO WORK WITH YOUR CHILD’S GAL IN NEW MEXICO
Family law cases tend to have one side that is more reasonable than the other. Some sign that one side is unreasonable include:
- Outlandish demands;
- Unrealistic requests;
- Offensive or threatening communication; or
- Angry or defensive demeanor.
You should strive to come across as the reasonable parent. Honey attracts more bees than vinegar. Like bees, your GAL will be more attracted to a friendly and sweet personality, than a bitter and salty attitude.
FOCUS ON THE CHILD – NOT THE OTHER PARENT
Your ex is no good. Your ex did you wrong in a way that only a country song can appropriately demonstrate. You can’t stand your ex. That’s fine – keep it to yourself.
Don’t spend your time angrily bashing your ex to the GAL. GALs are humans and humans tend to view positive people more positively. The time that you spend bashing your ex is counter productive and causes red flags to pop up around your position.
New Mexico courts are child centered. GALs are child centered and represent the child’s interests. The GAL wants to hear about the positive relationship that you have with your child – not all the dirt on your ex. The GAL wants to hear about the ways that you are bonded with your child – not about all the ways that your ex is a scumbag.
Focus on your relationship with your child.
TALK POSITIVE ABOUT YOUR CHILD – DON’T BELITTLE THE OTHER SIDE
Talking positive about your relationship with your child creates a positive impression with your GAL. Consider this thought experiment:
- Imagine a lawyer sitting at a computer angrily typing words about how their ex was horrible and treated them poorly. Picture this same lawyer listing all their ex’s negative qualities.
- Imagine a lawyer sitting at a computer, happily typing about the loving relationship that they have with their child. Picture this same lawyer listing the ways that they interact with their child daily.
Which lawyer would you prefer to work with?
Be the parent that focuses on the child, talking about your relationship and bond with your child. Focus on your child and leave your ex out of the picture.
MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION — FIRST IMPRESSIONS COUNT
First impressions matter. The initial impression that you make will influence the lasting impression that is remembered. Consider the following:
- BE ON TIME. Show up on time. Respond to emails and calls quickly. Don’t cancel your appointments. Return requested information quickly. Treat your GAL’s time with respect and your GAL will treat you with respect.
- HAVE THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF CONTACT WITH YOUR GAL. Nothing prevents you from contacting your GAL with information or questions. With that said don’t stop by your GAL’s office without an appointment. Don’t call or email your GAL everyday with updates. Find the right balance between being non-responsive, and following your GAL like a shadow.
- BE PREPARED AND GATHER YOUR EVIDENCE. Gather records and get information to support your position. Be actively involved with your case. Gather important witnesses that support your position. Gathering the right evidence and being prepared helps your GAL understand you and your relationship with your child.
What not to say to a guardian ad litem
DON’T COACH YOUR CHILD
Experienced GALs have a six sense for when children are being coached. Seasoned GALs have experience and training with detecting when a child has been coached or encouraged to make certain requests about custody or visitation.
Do not talk with your child about your case. Do not talk to your child about adult issues. It is a horrible idea to tell your child what to say to the GAL. Coaching your child can significantly hurt your case.
DON’T TALK ABOUT CHILD SUPPORT
Do not talk to your GAL about child support issues. You do not want your GAL to believe that your case is about child support. You do not want your GAL to mistakenly believe that your request for visitation is connected to child support issues. You do not want your GAL to believe that your desire for more time with your child is motivated by dollars and cents.
Talk to your lawyer about child support – not your GAL.
DON’T BADMOUTH OR BELITTLE THE OTHER PARENT
Your GAL’s goal is to learn about the relationship between you and your child. You can and should talk about concerns that you have with the other parent’s ability to care for your child. These issues can include substance abuse, domestic violence, order of protection, or mental health issues.
There is a difference between saying: “my ex is an alcoholic that drives while drunk” and saying: “my ex is a deadbeat scumbag that is worthless cheater.”
Address your ex’s issues without attacking your ex. Consider expressing your concerns by saying: “I know that my ex loves our child, but . . . [LIST ALL OF YOUR CONCERNS HERE].”
You can address your ex’s issues without attacking your ex. State your concerns in a calm and reasonable way. Avoid attacking your ex or coming across as angry or vindictive.
NEW MEXICO CUSTODY AND DIVORCE ATTORNEY EXPLAINS HOW TO WORK WITH YOUR CHILD’S GAL IN ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO
Are you involved in a heated divorce or custody case that involves a GAL? For over a decade, Matthew Sanchez has guided child custody cases all across New Mexico, including: Rio Rancho, Los Lunas, Belen, Gallup, Santa Fe, Estancia/Socorro. Talk to a NM attorney that understands custody and visitation. Talk to (505) SANCHEZ.
How to Work with Your Child’s GAL in NM
