For every yin there is a yang. Similarly, there are good and bad reasons for a contested divorce in New Mexico. When facing a divorce, it is essential to understand the pros and cons of a contested divorce. This understanding helps divorcing spouses avoid the potentially unnecessary stress, time, and expense of litigation.
First, it is important to understand the difference between a contested and uncontested divorce.
Uncontested divorce basically means that divorcing spouses completely agree on the divorce’s terms. In other words, both sides agree on all issues such as:
An uncontested divorce requires a complete agreement on all legal issues. Any disagreements create a contested divorce. In other words, the spouses are contested (disagreeing) on a legal issue necessary to complete the divorce.
A contested divorce entails disagreement, and consequently, the potential for extended litigation. Naturally, this process creates more stress, tension, and uncertainty. With that said, at times, a contested divorce is unavoidable. Here are some common and good reasons why divorces become contested.
Is your spouse making unreasonable divorce demands? If so, unreasonable demands are good reason for a contested divorce.
Unfortunately, divorce often triggers a rollercoaster of emotions. In turn, these emotions can steer a divorcing couple to emotional decisions. For instance, possibly one spouse feels burned by the reason for the divorce.
In other situations, maybe one spouse was controlling or manipulative and is having a hard time relinquishing a sense of power over the other spouse. When this happens, the controlling spouse may want to perpetuate a sense of control by controlling the divorce. For example, one spouse may file unnecessary motions, make unreasonable demands, or stall the divorce process if possible.
For whatever reason, one side may be making unreasonable demands that are not based on New Mexico law. In turn, the unreasonable demands are a good reason for a contested divorce.
At times, one side refuses to play fair. Maybe one spouse is hiding or transferring assets. In other situations, possibly one side is purposefully underemployed/unemployed. Finally, possibly one side has been kept in the dark regarding the couple’s finances. When this happens, the other side may be refusing to provide needed financial information.
For several reasons, one spouse may be engaging in dirty divorce moves. When this happens, it is usually necessary to pursue a contested divorce. In doing so, a full discovery process can be used to uncover hidden assets, or shady moves.
New Mexico is an alimony state. Additionally, need and ability to pay are the two biggest factors that impact alimony. Finally, the reason for the divorce (i.e. fault) is not considered when determining alimony.
With that said, one spouse may feel that alimony is not morally fair or correct. For example, possibly a spouse suspects that the divorce was caused by adultery. Because of this belief, the spouse may refuse to pay any alimony, despite a need for same.
In some cases, a spouse’s refusal to pay alimony is a good reason for a contested divorce.
Custody and visitation are always based on a child’s best interests. Several factors are considered when determining the appropriate child visitation. Nevertheless, sometimes one parent makes unreasonable demands regarding visitation.
For example, possibly one parent was minimally involved, yet is demanding a 50-50 visitation schedule. IN other situations, maybe one parent is unfit to care for the child. This inability may be caused by substance abuse, mental health issues, violence, or any other factor that poses a danger to the child. Despite these issues, the parent may demand visitation that does not reflect the child’s best interests.
Finally, child support is based on clear laws. Nonetheless, sometimes one parent refuses to pay child support – or demands a support payment that is below New Mexico guidelines.
Are any of these circumstances present in your divorce? If so, you likely have a good reason for a contested divorce.
The reasons for contesting a divorce are not created equally. At times, contested divorces are created by bad reasons. Here are some bad reasons for choosing a contested divorce.
Is your contested divorce based on a desire to stall the divorce process? For instance, are you stalling your divorce with the desire to reconcile, or to make your ex suffer? If so, this is a bad reason for pursing a litigated divorce.
It’s been said that anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. At times, spouses choose a contested divorce to “stick it to” their ex. In doing so, the spouse may be slapped with a result than what could have been achieved through negotiation or mediation.
Speak with the best divorce attorney. At a minimum, it is essential to speak with the best divorce attorney. The best lawyer can explain NM divorce law. Moreover, the best lawyer can detect unrealistic or unreasonable demands.
Act reasonably. It has been said that honey attracts more bees than vinegar. Similarly, acting reasonably and civilly towards your ex reduces the chances that a divorce will become contested. Moreover, acting reasonably reduces the chances of false allegations of abuse and a resulting request for a restraining order of protection.
Avoid fights based on moral or principle. As mentioned, sometimes one spouse feels burned by a divorce. This burned feeling is often caused by the reason for the divorce. With that said, fighting NM law based on feelings of morality or principle is an ineffective strategy.
Accept New Mexico law. First, it is imperative to understand New Mexico law. Understanding NM law enables a spouse to avoid making unrealistic or unreasonable demands. For instance, don’t demand more than your share of the community pie. Moreover, don’t fight NM child support guidelines. Finally, when alimony is appropriate, don’t fight based on moral rights.
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