Five Benefits of Divorce in New Mexico

THE BENEFITS OF DIVORCE IN NEW MEXICO

Divorce has a bad reputation.  Virtually every page and article dealing with divorce is loaded with heavy words such as stress, anxiety, guilt, depression, substance abuse, debt (add your own negative word here).

Take a second and think about the word divorce.  See the word D-I-V-O-R-C-E in your mind’s eye.  Is that image in your head?  Good.  Now think about a big, smiling face at the same time. Pretty tough – right?

It’s hard to hear the word divorce and to simultaneously think about rainbows, sunsets, and birds suddenly appearing.  In fact, it almost seems taboo to use the words divorce and benefits in the same sentence.  Possibly you rolled your eyes when you saw the word divorce connected with the inspiring image above.

As morally incorrect as it may be to say – there are benefits to divorce.

SOMETIMES DIVORCE IS A WAKE-UP CALL

Nothing opens one’s eyes to the reality of divorce more than a case being filed to end the marriage.  Talking about divorce is one thing – being physically served with divorce paperwork is a completely different story.  With that said, not all divorce cases end in divorce.

New Mexico is a no fault state which basically means that you don’t need a reason for the divorce, and one party is powerless to stop the divorce.  Although it’s true that you cannot stop a divorce, some divorces stall out, or are dismissed because the spouses decide to reconcile.

At times getting served with a Petition for Dissolution of Marriage is a wake-up call.  Maybe one spouse is taking the relationship for granted.  Possibly one spouse’s “problem area” has grown to a degree that the marriage is on the verge of collapse.

Is your divorce a wake-up call, or a fresh start?

A NEGATIVE SPOUSE CAN HOLD YOU DOWN AND BACK

A negative spouse can be similar to crabs in a bucket.  Allegedly, crabs in a bucket could easily escape the bucket if left alone – but fellow crabs pull down the crab that is trying to climb out.  A negative spouse can hold you down and back like crabs in a bucket.

A negative spouse may have the crab mentality of “if I can’t have it, then neither can you.”  A spouse may be unhappy about any element of their life, and consciously or unconsciously are holding you back from bettering yourself.

Possibly your spouse has an erratic or unstable lifestyle that is holding you back from improving yourself, or your finances.  Maybe your spouse is trapped in high school and refuses to evolve.  In some marriages a spouse that is trying to improve themselves may be met with passive-aggressive resistance that suggests, “So you think that you’re better than me?”

Basic math teaches us that dividing or multiplying a positive and negative number results in a negative outcome.  For any number of reasons, the negative spouse in your life could be equaling a negative marriage.

DIVORCE CAN ENABLE YOU TO ESCAPE THE RABBIT HOLE

At times a marriage starts off normal and happy, but over time evolves into an unhealthy relationship.  The craziest of situations can begin to seem normal with enough time thrown into the equation.

This “Alice in Wonderland Effect” can happen with happy marriages.  Some marriages begin normal and then the couple enters the “rabbit hole,” with their relationship slowly veering off course.  Over time, the once healthy relationship can become unhappy, unhealthy – or downright insane and dangerous.

Divorce enables you to escape the rabbit hole of your unhealthy marriage.

PEOPLE CHANGE – BUT NOT ALL CHANGE IS POSITIVE

Have you ever gone a few years without seeing a friend or family member and were amazed by how much they changed since the last time you met?  We are all changing – take a look at your high school year book if you don’t believe me.  The more time that passes – the greater the change.

Unfortunately not all change is positive.  Sometimes friends or lovers grow apart.  Sometimes people evolve at different rates.  It’s possible that you no longer have anything in common with your best friend from high school or college.  The same is true with relationships.

Any number of major life events can change the course of our lives – moving two people apart.  At times a life event can cause an upward change.  At times a life event can cause a downward spiral.  Over time, two people that were once on the same level can be miles apart.  This emotional distance can cause a spouse to feel like they are living with a stranger.

BENEFITS OF DIVORCE IN NEW MEXICO – THE MENTOS AND DIET COKE EFFECT

Have you ever mixed Mentos with Diet Coke?  Instant explosion.  Relationships can have the same explosive effect.  Sometimes two good people are absolutely horrible together.

Toxic relationships are like mixing Mentos with Diet Coke.

Opposites may attract – but can those opposites live together in a healthy and positive way?  Is the attraction mutually beneficially?  What initially attracts us to another person – over time – can begin to repel us.

The fun and spontaneous person that you married may begin to seem irresponsible and erratic when a child is thrown into the equation.  The serious and stable person that you married may now seem stubborn and inflexible.  The wild streak that attracted you to your spouse is possibly now a full blown mental health disorder.

As taboo as it may be to say – at times there are benefits to divorce.