There are several ways to keep your divorce & custody case from turning ugly.
Here are three tips to help you avoid unnecessary stress, time, and legal expenses. These tips can help you prevent your divorce or custody cases from breaking bad and turning frosty.
KEEP YOUR COMMUNICATIONS WARM
You and your ex do not have to be best friends.
You don’t need to hold hands and hum Taylor Swift songs together.
However, you don’t need to be vile and insulting either.
You don’t need to send abusive and insulting text messages. Likewise, four letter words don’t need to fall from your mouth like white flakes in a snow globe.
In other words, keep your communications civil. In doing so, keep your communications straight and to the point.
Short and sweet.
View your communications and interactions as a business transaction.
Ugly communications often lead to ugly divorce and custody cases. In some situations, especially ugly communications can lead to a restraining order of protection being requested and granted.
At a minimum, ugly communications begin a divorce or custody case on the wrong footing.
Moving forward, this footing creates a pace of conflict that develops a life and momentum of its own. Ultimately, this conflict may cause avoidable time, stress, experts, court involvement, and expense.
Staying civil may mean avoiding expensive therapeutic intervention, counseling, or court appointed evaluators.
It can mean avoiding a trial with a judge that treats you like a child being called into the principal’s office.
Usually, judges do not greet cold and frosty cases with warm smiles and hugs. Therefore, it’s safe to expect your judge to give a cold reception to your frosty case.
Warm communications can keep your divorce and custody cases from turning frosty. In turn, these civil communications may keep your family court cases from breaking bad.
AVOID SHADY BEHAVIOR
Snow thrives in the shade. Likewise, frosty divorce and custody cases thrive with shady behavior.
With divorce cases, shady behavior may include hiding or transferring assets. In other cases, shady behavior may include racking up debt, or wasting community funds.
Shady divorce moves may also include filing a baseless restraining order of protection. At times, protective orders are requested to force one spouse out of the martial home. When this happens, one spouse may change the locks and prevent re-entry before the divorce is filed.
In other cases, restraining orders are strategically filed to gain leverage in the child custody case. At times, leverage can be achieved through a temporary timesharing order that creates a status quo. Moving forward, this status quo may be hard to change.
In any event, restraining orders quickly turn a divorce or custody case cold.
With child custody cases, abusive and threatening communications quickly turn cases frosty. Moreover, bad-mouthing the other parent, or discussing the case with children, can quickly turn the case sour.
Like divorce cases, child custody cases sometimes begin with restraining orders. Starting a divorce or custody case with a restraining order is like someone tripping you as a race begins. The restraining order may create a strike-back to win mentality.
In other words, starting with a restraining order may cause both sides to focus on striking back and winning – rather than finishing the race.
As such, this “strike back mentality” may cause avoidable issues and motions to be filed. In turn, the case’s time and expense may greatly increase. Most importantly, the negative emotions can diminish both spouses’ quality of life.
Life is short.
Avoid shady behavior. In doing so, you may avoid a dark cloud from covering your divorce or child custody case.
DITCH ANGER & SELF-MEDICATION
Judges have a duty to protect children. Accordingly, judges turn a cold shoulder to drug and alcohol abuse.
Alcohol and marijuana are legal. With that said, judges are concerned by allegations that drug or alcohol abuse impacts a parent’s ability to care for a child.
Moreover, a judge’s concern about allegations of drug or alcohol abuse increases when:
- Mixed with recent arrests;
- Repeated DWI’s;
- CYFD involvement;
- Domestic violence issues;
- Restraining order of protections; or
- Other problems within a parent’s home.
Do you want to present the strongest child custody case possible? If so, do not abuse drugs or alcohol when a custody case looms.
Testing positive for a serious narcotic can destroy your chances for success. Weed may not destroy your case – but cocaine, meth, heroin, or fentanyl probably will.
What’s more, testing positive for a serious drug creates a stink that sticks to your case. This smell lingers with your case moving forward.
Be honest with yourself about drug or alcohol issues. Treatment is a much better strategy than denial. Treatment shows a proactive desire to improve. Denial shows a desire to deceive.
At times, parents are not honest with their level of alcohol or drug use. Consequently, the parent may be in denial that a problem exists.
Unfortunately, a Peth test or hair follicle test presents an objective number/level. Parents immediately lose credibility when this number/level conflicts with their statements of drug or alcohol use.
Once credibility is lost, it can be very difficult to rebuild. You can lose credibility with one test result. Unfortunately, it may take years to regain the lost credibility.
Losing credibility can quickly turn a cold shoulder to your arguments and case.
Be honest with yourself and seek treatment if necessary.
Finally, check out this video for more tips on avoiding bad divorce moves in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
DIVORCE AND CHILD CUSTODY ATTORNEY IN ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO
Sanchez is an experienced divorce and child custody attorney in Albuquerque, NM. For thirteen years, Sanchez has handled complex divorce and custody cases across New Mexico.
Sanchez routinely handles divorce and custody cases in Albuquerque, Rio Rancho, Los Lunas/Belen, Santa Fe, Socorro/Estancia, Gallup/Grants, and Taos Los Alamos.
Call a storm tested and seasoned family law attorney.
Call (505) SANCHEZ.
3 Tips to Keep Your Divorce & Custody Case from Turning Frosty/Ugly
