Exposing Bad Divorce Myths in Albuquerque, New Mexico

 

There are a handful of bad divorce myths in New Mexico.  Often, these common divorce myths negatively impact one’s thoughts and approach to divorce. Debunking these bad beliefs helps readers achieve a better understanding of New Mexico divorce law.

Here are 5 bad divorce myths that are commonly held in Albuquerque, NM.

 

EVERY BAD DIVORCE IS AN EMOTIONAL BRAWL

 

At times, family and friends throw around divorce stories like fireside tales from the crypt. These stories are often filled with fear, loathing, and the dark side of a worst divorce.  With that said, not all divorces are a nightmare.  In fact, some divorces can be resolved with minimal pain and emotional anguish.

You see, sometimes both spouses painlessly agree to dividing community property and debt.  When children are involved, both sides may reach a drama-free agreement about custody, visitation, and child support.

Somewhere between a contested and uncontested divorce, a skilled divorce settlement facilitator can guide both sides to a happy median.  When this happens, the spouses can complete the divorce without stepping foot into court.

 

BAD DIVORCE MYTH: DIVORCE TAKES YEARS TO COMPLETE

 

A divorce can take years to complete – but it can also take days.  The length of time depends on the degree of disagreement.  On the light end, an uncontested divorce can be filed and finalized within days.  An uncontested divorce is possible when both parties reach a complete divorce agreement.

In the middle, most divorces can be completed with minimal divorce discovery and completing divorce settlement facilitation.  In other words, every divorce doesn’t need to be an emotional slugfest where both sides are left bruised and devastated.  Every divorce doesn’t need to be a courtroom mud slinging contest where each spouse exposes their former lover as frauds, cheats, or narcissistic sociopaths.

On the dark side, divorces can get dirty.  Not all divorces exist in a Tony Robbins land of positivity.  Some divorces get downright ugly.  In some cases, one spouse makes shady divorce moves.  In other cases, a controlling spouse refuses to accept the reality of divorce.  Finally, some spouses desire to inflict as much pain as possible through a contentious divorce process.

Nevertheless, dark divorces are the exception and not the norm.  Most Albuquerque divorces can be resolved with minimal pain and suffering. Putting it different, don’t believe everything that you hear from family, friends, or TMZ about divorce.

 

ANOTHER BAD DIVORCE MYTH: WOMEN ALWAYS WIN AT DIVORCE/CUSTODY

 

There’s a growing sentiment that women always win at divorce/custody.  Saying that women always win at divorce or custody is like saying, “I can never save money,” and then buying takeout and Starbucks for every meal.  In other words, your actions are self-fulfilling prophecies.

You see, the action that you take before divorce often creates your divorce reality.  For instance, not monitoring your finances during marriage can lead to money being drained.  In turn, the court likely will take a hands-off stance about money spent during the marriage without a resulting asset.

Family court judges tend to take a hands-off approach to money spent during a marriage without an asset.   Family court judges don’t want to act as bookkeepers that evaluate every dollar spent during a marriage.  As such, money wasted during the marriage can leave a bitter taste in one’s month upon divorce.  This bitter taste can cause one to believe that the other side “won.”

Similarly, your custody case’s strength/weakness often hinge on the the actions that you take during marriage.  For example, failing to become as involved as possible establishes your spouse as the primary caregiver.  Moreover, establishing a weak visitation schedule – immediately following separation – creates a status quo that strengthens your ex’s case. Finally, getting physical or aggressive during your breakup can result in a restraining order of protection being entered.  In turn, this restraining order can have long-term consequences that impact your custody/visitation case.

Take immediate action.  Monitor your finances for shady withdrawals.  Watch your bank accounts for excessive spending.  Become heavily involved with your children.  In doing so, immediately establish a strong visitation schedule once you separate. Finally, do not get physical or aggressive when divorce is looming.

In other words, act rather than passively believing that family courts always favor women.

 

YOU WIN IN DIVORCE/CUSTODY BY FIGHTING

 

Effective divorce and custody lawyers are increasingly viewed as angry bulldogs, with crossed arms, bitter faces, and as mean-spirited fighting machines.  Don’t believe me?  If not, observe the next 5 lawyer billboards that you see.  It won’t take long – divorce and custody lawyers lawyer billboards are everywhere.

Next, notice the doctor and dentist advertisements that you see.  How many dentists are scowling, with crossed arms and angry faces?  I challenge you to find one doctor or dentist advertisement with an angry, aggressive, or confrontational appearance.  Please leave a comment in the section below if you find such an advertisement.

Why?  Doesn’t everyone want a hard hitting dentist that aggressively pounds their cavities into oblivion?  Likewise, doesn’t everyone want an accountant, Lasik surgeon, or plumber to take a ruthless, no holds barred approach to their tax issue, nearsightedness, or clogged drain?  Nevertheless, advertising doesn’t support a desired aggression among the professions — only attorneys.

Consequently, there is a bogus myth that you always win in divorce/custody by fighting.  There seems to be similar myth that you always win in divorce by hiring an emotionally unstable divorce attorney that is foaming at the mouth.

Don’t believe the hype.  Sometimes you lose by unnecessarily and aggressively fighting in divorce/custody.  Sometimes you lose by barreling into court with an ineffective argument.  At times, the cost of fighting your ex outweighs the benefits.  In other words, sometimes the financial and emotional benefit of resolving issues outside of court outweighs the cost of stressful and uncertain litigation.

Moral of the story – don’t believe the myth that you always win in divorce/custody by fighting.  Depending on your case’s facts, you may win by resolving your issues outside of court.

 

I CAN HANDLE MY UNCONTESTED DIVORCE MYSELF

 

Can you handle your uncontested divorce without a divorce lawyer?  Probably.  Should you handle your uncontested divorce without a divorce lawyer?  Probably not.

At a minimum, you should always speak with an experienced Albuquerque divorce attorney before entering a divorce agreement.  In doing so, you should fully understand how NM divorce laws apply to your unique marriage.

The internet provides a wealth of information.  Nonetheless, family law issues rarely fit into a one-size-fits-all box.  Because of this fact, checking a small box can create long-term consequences.  For example, checking a small alimony box may have a big impact on the rest of your life.  Similarly, checking a box that relates to your marital residence can create future problems.

“Simple” divorce agreements often create complicated future problems.  Therefore, you should always speak with an experienced divorce attorney before signing your “simple” uncontested divorce.

 

GOOD DIVORCE LAWYER OR ATTORNEY NEAR ME IN ALBUQUERUQE, NM

 

One of Albuquerque’s best divorce attorney can help you expose bad divorce myths.  For more than a decade, Matthew Legan Sanchez has effectively handled custody and divorce cases across New Mexico.  Sanchez takes a unique approach with every case.  Are you looking for a tough and tested divorce attorney?  If yes, call (505) SANCHEZ today.